would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
