somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
