hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
