Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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