got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
