Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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