she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
