Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
