This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
