I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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