bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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