Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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