i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
