OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
false alarm, still single
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