took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
