I'd wear matching sweaters with you
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize