Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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