Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
