oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
