i used baking grease as lip gloss
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize