Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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