Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
