as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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