I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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