So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize