the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
