You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
