Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
