Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize