your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
