Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
