I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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