I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
