She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
