You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
