were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
