I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize
