i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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