I can tuck mytits in my pants
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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