I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
