Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize