If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
