I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
