I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
