Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
