Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i barfeds in our rink
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
