I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize