Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
my liver is dry heaving
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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