if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
