And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
