Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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