He is such a slut. More and more my type.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
