Redeem this text for a blowjob
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
