Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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