i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am spending my child support on dildos
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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