It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
