found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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