can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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