New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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