i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
