Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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