Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
