Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
