don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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