Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize