how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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