I feel like abortions should bother me more
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
